What do you do when the person in the stall next to you says they're jealous?
I just remembered we were doing butt clenching exercising with bar straws last night
I'm not high anymore, I decide when it's done.
when I woke up the last searched thing on my phone was "how to make a fireproof dress" I need to stop drinking.
and i looked up. we had an audience...
he asked me to eat out his asshole. after five minutes of uncomfortable staring i realized he was serious.
She forced me to throw up so it would "rejuvenate" me. It worked and then we took six more shots and did a keg stand. You know what I call that? Friendship.
i need to find a notary that isn't going to turn me in for blatantly lying to the us and chilean governments
I'm crying, drinking alone and applying for jobs tonight. I figure the alcohol will lower my job standards.
You know what it feels like? It feels like I'm in that prison from the dark knight rises. That's what being a virgin in college feels like.
I know that we've never been that tight but I want you to meet my cat before I move.
He is dating a girl who is on the Olympic shooting team...I've never been so scared to hit on a guy with a girlfriend in my entire life.
Amazon.com "suggested" I buy both nipple clamps and opera gloves.
I'll start cleaning the house tonight darlin. So you don't have to fuck your two boytoys in the driveway the next two days.
i just wanted have a romantic star gaze moment with him. untill he let out a massive fart.
Randomize
