you told everyone your name was brenda and you had the whole party chanting b-dawgg by the end of the night. successful.
you were chalanging people to drink the "worlds biggest jager bomb" - a VASE of Redbull and a PINT of Jager... is it no wonder you dont remember anything?
My mom just bought me $200 worth of booze on the condition that I promise I won't have to go to rehab eventually
dude your girlfriend is running naked down the hall with a raw chicken taped to her stomach saying this is what I'll look like pregnant...run far far away
I'm sorry I kept calling last night when you wouldn't pick up. I'm REALLY sorry I sang "You Oughta Know" on more than 4 voice mails.
im just sayin im driving an hr to pick her up, just cause shes your gf doesnt mean i shouldnt be entitled to a bj
Im down. Even tho your nick name intimidates my vagina.
The world is my kaleidiscope. I see whatever the alcohol wants me to.
So topless strobe light beer pong turned into me rugby tackling a bitch to the ground.my tits will never forgive me for sacrificing their majesticness for responsibility
I woke him up with a blow job and he started sing "oh the USAAAA. IT'S GOING TO BE S BEAUTIFUL DAYYYYY"
I'm tripping balls on ambien right now and I still feel that's a bad idea.
I just coughed and my vagina hurt. We need to hook up more.
Just witnessed some guy throw his fake eye at his dad's face. Actually, he whipped it at him.
I officially have worse injuries from a baby shower than roller derby.
I would steal a car if I knew it had wheat thins in it
is it necessary to steal the whole car?
Randomize
