I tried to gradually lead her into my room but she wouldn't stop crying and quoting memoirs of a geisha
first i yelled "you cant get it up?" and then in the middle of it i opened a Corona
is drinking for groundhog day legit?
well you blacked out on MLK day and we pregamed arbor day, so yes
Same here... Well I was planning on having some sort of deep conversation, but looking at how grim of an outlook tomorrow has on you, I'll just re-inform you that I have your pants.
The usual. Woke up on a dog bed with peeps and $11.
They were greeting people getting off the 48 with green beers and cheers. The one day I decide not to take the bus home...
I was paranoid that someone would jizz in my hair while I had the cucumbers over my eyes. Super-High Spa Day didnt work out.
He just showed up. He's like 5'8 and brought a beer pong table that has " I love gay boys" on it. How could this go wrong
there was so much lube in my brother's closet...
Believe me honey Imma fuck the discount out of at least one plastic surgeon in my life
All I wanted was a couple of orgasms before work, is that too much to ask?!
I'm a girl who met my last three bfs in gay clubs. Think I'm doing something wrong?
He's a cop. Do you know how many times I've said fuck the police? This is my chance. I'm taking it.
I asked him to get me another beer, and he started making muffins.
This was the first funeral I've ever attended where I had to pee behind a bush cuz someone was passed-out drunk in the locked bathroom. Steve would have been proud.
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