i stalked him back to the creation of his facebook in november 2008. that bad.
Mom just apologized for her lack of a gag reflex not being genetic.
i just ran into my boss at the liquor store. we didnt exchange words, just nodded in mutual understanding.
you are getting stockholm syndrome from your pubes
maybe i'll make good life choices and keep my legs closed. periodically txt me friday and saturday night saying "baby carrot round 2" that should stop me.
Have you ever tried running while drinking 151?
My dry heaving is complicating my ability to speak.
Ladies, we have an appointment at David's Bridal aurora this coming Sunday at 3pm. And an appointment at where ever tequila is served at noon.
I gave you head at the stadium on a Thursday night ESPN game. That damn well better be worth points on the score board!!!
He broke the bed, AND shit in the closet. What a way to lose his virginity. What a night.
Thank you. Next to bondage, soft American Apparel t-shirts are the best things you've taught me about.
There comes a point, as I lay on the floor of the work disabled toilets contemplating catching 10 minutes sleep between chunders, that I wonder if its really worth it
Yeah you were fine except for when you peed under the bar
Plus my parents would be pissed if I spent Thanksgiving in jail... again.
How high do u want to get? Just kind of high or yelling at swans high...
Swans
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