i just had sex with a fat kid who giggles when he cums. tequila really lowers my standards.
ur penis kinda felt like a vagina to me
He told me his condom was going to expire tomorrow and he needed to use it. I can't believe I fell for it.
I was just texting to see if your vagina was working yet.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
If there was a god I would have a big mac right now, but i don't
He cut part of his finger off. It was a consolation blow job.
As i looked at his penis, it stared back into my soul. No more drinking games.
it's 2:30 on a sunday and I just won a wine chugging contest. I'm never graduating.
I found them. Thank God. Now I'm gonna have to take a Xanax for the panic attack I almost had trying to find my Xanax.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He thought you were kidding about me peeing on my ex...and then I was like "that was one time"
When cunnilingus is one of the first 25 words you say to someone there's a problem
#reasonsyoushouldnthaveatinder
And I'm sorry for punching you in the face when I drunkenly threw my sandwich
Omg this place. I'm at a neighborhood party. My mom has kissed two other moms. Where am I
Is it in poor taste to drop acid before midnight mass?
I love this.
He has a wall filled with panties from past hook ups. So no, I didn't fuck him.
Randomize