why is there a picture of someone wearing Tevas with socks taped on the wall?
you ate skittles off the table like a hungry hungry hippo. it was awesome.
They seriously just ended our alcohol presentation by giving us beer cozies. I love college.
My mom said that if she can come this weekend, she'll buy the weed.
Coming to you live from the floor of my office..
I've hit an all time low I just sent a boob pict to fat Randall the one I gave a partial bj to a year a a half ago
I climbed out a window to pee last night because i thought i was locked in the room... Then crawled back in and went to bed. The poor neighbors.
I will gladly accept you into my home with open legs.
You kept asking us from the backseat if you were driving ok and then you kept talking to your hiccups and yelling at them to "stop it already!"
In other news my pubic hair is covered in glitter.
the quiet that you are hearing is a silent suggestion that you should go fuck yourself
My phone autocorrected "shhhhh" to "AHHHHHHHHH" and I feel like that says a lot about my life
If this gives you any indication of my current state, I stopped at Meijer after work and bought funyuns, pregnancy tests and chocolate.
I feel really sorry for my toilet right now
Can you cover for me after lunch? I’ve never seen a guy who cums as much as my new Side Dick so now I need to clean the house before my husband gets home
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