Your friends ate a hole through an entire loaf of bread
He asked me If i had cheated on my boyfriend when I said no he said it's like he doesnt know me anymore
In either case, seeing now as it's basically two couples, unless we're planning to have a good old fashion orgy I think this isn't going to work out so well.
Just did a relay race involving shotgunning beers, cannonballs and riding a blowup whale. Never want to leave vacation.
We could have had it all. And by all I mean sex in your Toyota Corolla.
Oddly enough I feel totally fine now. Clonazapam and red bull the breakfast of champions.
You just referred to a pillow with a stolen bra strapped to it as "she". Let that sink in for a minute.
YOU GAVE HIM A BLOWJOB ON YOUR DOORSTEP?!
He managed to find a wheel chair and a super mario hat, now hes rolling around screaming "real life mario kart!"
You brought string cheese to the strip club
I found where he bartends and I guarantee you that in approximately nine months from this Friday, you will have a niece
THERES A FUCKBOY IN MY PERSONAL SPACE
GET IT AWAY FROM ME IM ALLERGIC
I just remembered that before we left my house I vowed to stay fully clothed and I FAILED
she kind of stumbled up and said "Bitches be needin' stiches." i thought i could convince her to break a bottle over someones head but she fell onto her face and passed out before i could say anything
I got drunk off three vodka cranberry’s and told him to “WWE raw dog me.” Fucking kill me.
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