oh and i feel obligated to inform you that there will be no sexin' because it's 'lady time' for me. so this ain't a booty call.
i think i have herpe
just one?
Grab the Coors Light. Its time to get NASCAR drunk
Wait wait wait. I remember riding in her car to the next bar. On your lap. With my head on the dashboard. That probably should have been my cut off point.
That's your penis' name. I've always referred to it as Alejandro secretly.
He kept falling asleep with the pizza in his hand. I woke him up and told him and he was shocked because he thought he ate it all. Then he would end up falling asleep and we'd repeat the whole process again.
I don't know how we managed to stay up but we actually sat in front of her open refrigerator for god knows how long while she ate salami straight out of the package with her fingers and I laughed. It was a trainwreck.
I've been drinking vodka for the last 12 hours at the beach and can't see straight and have awesome hair.
LIFE IS #1 SOMETIMES
Guess who figured out you can fit an entire bottle of champagne in a big Subway cup. Open container laws my ass.
Nevermind, there are three drinks waiting at the bar for me. I cannot disappoint this alcohol.
I have poison ivy on my dick
WHAT
I'd probably lick every tooth in Carly Rae Jepson's fucking mouth.
Teen Choice Awards are on if your wondering.
My roommate just walked in on him eating me out ..happy finals week right?
He and I didn't so much date, as watch cartoons and go down on each other.
Woah don't start going all boyfriend on me now, you're here for one thing and one thing only and that's sex, hot shameless sex.
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