They say rihanna has been dating several mets players. They go on to say that she feels safe with them because they can't beat anybody.
Just got booed while taking a piss and asked if I 'call that a penis.' Get me the fuck out nf yankee stadium.
The only way I made it through work was reminding myself how many margaritas per hour I was making
I legitimately sent him a storybook of naked pictures.
He's got a pretty small dick but he's a total sweetheart. I'm gonna buy a new dildo and just deal with it.
I met her at the liquor store. I hope I'm wearing a condom
Apologies for hacking your facebook and posting that picture of you passed out hooked up to the IV...but we were sat with you on the ER floor for 3 hours, it got boring
ill give you the fast version. Hooked up with 17 year old coworker while housestting for my boss
Well besides you comparing him to your dead cat, I'd say it was fine.
Our 450 pound cab driver smells like McDonalds and sunblock with a touch of vodka. Correction I smell like vodka.
I had to physically pry the rocks out of your hands so you wouldn't throw them at the guy with the cowboy hat. You probably would've missed anyways.
Besides you're a Tennessee fan and it'd be against my religion to have your penis inside me today.
Got with someone dressed up as Allen from the hangover so that's where I'm at in life
she fell asleep in a torn bush after playing cards at a nursing home.
Not having a reliable dick in is getting expensive. I’ve had to replace 3 vibrators since Mike and I split up
Randomize
