we are all sexual creatures
yea maybe. but you're not. you're not getting any.
she was mega hot - except for the poop under her fingernails
no.. I went home. Puking up hot dogs and lemon tart isn't as lovely as it sounds.
He asked what my name was on facebook chat. IT SAYS RIGHT THERE. i will never be drunk enough for this guy.
Just got invited out of group to take shots after hearing her gay friend say "why would I give him my alcohol so you can suck his dick. It's going to be a good night
I mean you can't really blame him. He's named after whiskey and I don't get along with pants.
I don't remember where I was but I remembered that I hated everyone there
you know, i'm always afraid you're going to think i only want you for sex because i only text you when i'm horny
speaking of, guess what i'm thinking about
The more I piece together last night the more I want to vomit it out of my brain.
If you buy me a steak I will make the extra effort to ride you. If not, I'm just gonna lay there.
I just overheard an "I'm going to get your dick so hard" conversation at Costco.
after last night, ive never not wanted to live so much in my life.
I just found out how I got home last night. The bartenders found me sitting in the brush peeing and called me a cab. Have you seen my underwear?
Alright, I've had enough of this good girl shit. Tonight you either blackout or backout.
he went down on me WHILE i ate BACON PIZZA! best. boyfriend. ever.
Randomize
