So when jo picked me up from the bar I kept apologizing and kept telling her "I'm just a wittle donut"
No idea how I passed that sobriety test.
new revelation: five guys for breakfast
new revelation: previous revelation not a good revelation
Pretty much gone. He was in the backseat and kept whispering that his "toes felt like pigtails"
We found her. She's owling on the sink in the bathroom.
I tackled a mailbox like a linebacker. He almost broke his hip and his friend lit a bottle rocket off inside of the car. Yes it was a successful night.
Your friends turned off our power in the basement and when we went to turn it back on I got sprayed in the face with a fire extinguisher. FYI.
Ummmm you know you're drinking vodka out of a Skittles bag, right?
I need to beat up a magician now. BRB.
I Can't even believe I threw all my pizza rolls at her, I mean not only did i ruin a good meal but now I dont have anymore
He's just so adorable. And I don't want to fuck someone who's adorable.
There was a group of girls next to us. One was smiling at me. I only remember walking up and saying "oh you're Russian". Not sure where it went from there
Im going to be coked out with hello kitty fire arms. Valentines day can suck my dick
i'm not so sure everythign we did last night was legal...
dude I fucking saw you snort tequila
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