How many times do you have to sleep with a guy before you get him to kiss you???
The worst part of it is that he's not the first man I've fucked with 2+ chihuahua's.
I just saved him in my contacts as "Has 2 kids.. don't drunk text"
he said he wants to do me james and the giant peach style. im afraid of what that means. but moderately excited. wish me luck.
This is going to be another afternoon spent getting drunk in the shower, isn't it?
He broke into my apartment to check his Facebook again, the beer is all gone, and there's a new high score on pac man.
can anyone on this campus do anything sober?
I love spring semester, so many high school girls visiting that think I'm the sexiest man alive just because I'm in college
Aren't you gay?
IT'S NICE TO FEEL WANTED DON'T RUIN THIS FOR ME
I GOT JUDGED BY A GUY WORKING AT THE LEAST CLASSY STRIP CLUB. Peeing isn't a right, it's a privilege.
So because I got upset you didn't answer I threw my phone in the garbage disposal last night
I moved out... There's nothing left but his childhood trophies...
You should make him a new one, you know like "you suck at relationships but thanks for trying participation award"
He's practically not my boyfriend anymore. So let's go get some glitter, balloons, alcohol and forget this night ever happened.
COKE WAS NOT ON THE ITINERARY FOR TONIGHT.
I guess I can check "drink alone in the dark" off my bucket list
Whatever you wanna call it i just wanna get railed tonight
Randomize
