Thats not how I planned it, its just the way she passed out
If i could tip my vagina, i would.
i walked into the party and i guess everyone knew because they began to chant "ass to mouth"
One person in the car. Three blizzards. Alot of judging.
Yes, she did suck your dick in the bathroom to wake you up.
I really wish I had added "blowjob on a slide at a playground" to my bucket list before last night.
I don't know what he did to me, but he did it wrong. I think my pelvis is broken. I cant even drive without it hurting. What. The. Fuck.
I just opened my filing cabinet at work for the first time in months. It looks just like my pantry: nothing but peanut butter and whiskey.
He's hot though. It's not like he JUST got out of prison. That was like months ago
This is a whole new generation of premature ejaculators
It took me three days, but I managed to nearly get arrested on my way out of LA. Made it to the airport. Crisis averted, though. The real crime is, my flight is delayed two hours.
His buddy came running in the room after we had sex, and started "sponging" the sweat off my forehead with his sport wristband.
Well, I wish you luck on finding out who your boyfriend is
Why does my car smell like burnt toast?
I take it you don't remember trying to make grilled cheese with your cigarette lighter...
Once someone takes a shit in your toilet they are no longer a guest.
Randomize
