just prayed to lady gaga in hopes it will help me pass my fashion merchandising final...what is my life?
the way i see it, im about one adderall binge away from graduating
Leave it to him to get us kicked out of a bar for hitting on an 80 year old woman. I want to be that wasted one day.
He offered but I said no. I didn't think it'd be cool to accept cupcakes in the mens room of a gentlemans club.
hey, haven't seen your testicles in a while...you 3 still alive?
I have Retrograde Ejaculation as a side effect from one of my meds. Is this a respectable form of birth control?
Gonna bang his former student. Clearly I am winning this breakup.
Im just saying it can't be that bad if he drove himself to the er. We'll head that way when we finish playing scattergories
He kept calling my vagina a magic clam, and it was speaking to him, telling him to feed it his penis. I played along.
Clearly the ONLY reason why you were voted employee of the month is because of your upside-down beer funneling skills.
I'm scared to touch anything in this apartment. Even the ceiling.
Nothing says "I Love you" like my dick in a pizza box
Pregnancy test = positive. Hope you still have our old guess who game 'cause daddy elimination begins now.
Your life is quite full of dick lately.
It really is!
Noo not in a booty call way, in a 'How are your abs and penis doing today?' sort of way.
Randomize
