They were fighting, but then they bumped into the bong and it shattered. After that they just hugged and cried.
I don't think i can handle my uncle say again that kid rock is a true musician....
Were taking tot shots. If toddlers could drink these are the size of shots they would take
She posted on her FB that he moved out...It's like she wants me to fuck him.
So I've decided to grow a vagina forest. Because I'm single and it's like a zen garden. Brings a new meaning to long hair don't care.
Note to self, stop going out with self absorbed bisexuals
I'm spending tomorrow with her. What should my ridiculous personal goal be? I've already got a blowjob while eating a cupcake
i was trying to figure out what "tidy fucking" was when i realized he meant "titty fucking" and i need to start banging smarter people....
At what part of the night did you guys leave?
After my hot tub cannonball.
How many Wendy's frosties do you think it would take to fill a bathtub?
I got my period today and I cried tears of joy. And then just cried because my cramps are actually killing me from the inside out.
Nice. I like it when Maker's Mark makes decisions for you.
It's all part of my master plan: have him buy me all I can eat pizza and all I can drink beer AND THEN tell him there was no spark and we're better off as friends.
I guess I can check "drink alone in the dark" off my bucket list
all I remember is screming at her "I want you and your tortillas... DEAD"
Randomize
