We need to rekindle our bromance
I just came up with the perfect plan. Once i'm a dentist i'm going to offer dad a million dollars to divorce mom.
the last thing i remember is inserting the sippy stray into the jack daniel's.
Sex tent. say it aloud its amazing. promise you we rnt stoned.
Sober me does NOT approve of what went on in my pants last night.
The cop was more concerned with the syringes on the dash board than looking for the source of the smoke. Thank god for diabetes!
My neighbor caught me peeing on his rose bushes at 2 in the morning while wearing my Santa hat. My sex appeal has never been higher.
Well there is another shower in Nov. So I have three months to figure out how to get some drunk space fucking. May need some of your mead
Drinking vodka straight from my water bottle because of the debate. I just need to forget.
The bar tenders gave me the number for a "taxi"... It's just a dude with a van. In retrospect, pretty sketchy. Robert was cool though.
GUESS WHO GOT ABSOLUTELY WASTED LAST NIGHT AND SPENT AN HOUR RAMBLING ABOUT KRAFT DINNER, HOCKEY, AND THE LAST TEMPTATION OF CHRIST
Sorry I couldn't reference you in my facebook quote. I will redirect any likes and comments straight to my blowjob efforts this week.
I just want to dump glitter on my floor and roll in it like a cat in catnip.
It was 6am and he went immediately for the 69. WTF?? 6am is WAY to early for acrobatics.
We need to stop going on dates to the strip club.
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