Oh i forgot. I hit on a mentally challenged girl too.
did she really think she could get into the club & no one would recognize her from 16 & pregnant???
I woke up wearing just my underwear and a headlamp at a different house than I remember passing out at. I told you irish car bombs are not made with an entire guinness.
He kept saying "this is a bad idea" wasn't in his vocabulary. He left at 2 came back at 6 eating frozen waffles and he had a symbol, a moped mirror, and a new MacBook. I'd say he had a good time
She tried to cook Velveeta IN the oven on clean mode.
you think that next time i come over to do this you can pick up the condom wrappers you used on the other girls
The weekend is off to a good start: she just got into a verbal fight with a hobo. Nearly a fist fight.
I just want to have sex and eat oreos. and then take body shots. like everyday.
tried to chug a glass full of ice cubes. went better then expected.
Now the circle is complete. Just interviewed a guy who was a higher up member of the team I worked for in my job before this place
while i am personally glad that we met...i feel like for society as a whole it was a bad thing
Did I hit my head yesterday? I have a bump on the back of it. Also I just want you to know that I don't blame you for me taking my bikini top off. If I want to be shirtless no man or woman on this earth can stop me.
My liver is fucking rocky. Get knocked down 7 times and gets up 8. World champ
How do u explain to your grandma that your relationship status is hooking up with randoms at a bar
I passed out in your bed last night...there maybe a snickers and twix bar under your pillow
Randomize
