...So a 6 ft tall drag queen in heels I would kill for just told me I have a dunkable ass. I'm confused...but I'll take any compliment I can.
life lesson #1: a fart during an awkward silence between 2 strangers doesnt make it less awkward.
the crunchwrap supreme is the def leppard of the taco bell menu
which is why it's clearly superior
Update. It gets worse. A) he's done viagra and B) he wears socks at all times.
Roller skating + drunkeness + peeing = mess
sorry I didn't call you. I had your number saved as "girl that offered bj but didn't follow thru".
The panties match.
I'll be right there.
wore my lacy blue thong that says "hello there" across the front today for my gynecologist appointment. I live to make people uncomfortable
He's just giving off this "someone be a bitch to me" vibe
Someone shat in our tub last night. I'm not pointing fingers but you priors make you a prime suspect.
It was like a Thanksgiving meal, which you spend 8 hours cooking, and the family wolfs down in 20 minutes. All that flirting and build-up for like 90 seconds of pumping and he was gone in a flash, never to be heard from again.
It's gotten to a point that when guys say "I'm gonna cum" I've developed a habit of responding "dooo itttt" in a deep voice. #isthatweird
When I watch porn and jerk off like 95% of the time Iron Chef is on in the background...
I woke up at 3:30 this morning to pee. Luckily, I didn't have to travel far as I was asleep in my CLOSET on my yoga mat. Good news is I had a pillow...
THIS FUCKNUGGET
DOES HE EVEN REALIZE HOW MANY INCREDIBLE INSULTS I'VE WASTED ON HIM
I'VE INSULTED THE EVERLOVING SHIT OUT OF HIM AND HE CAN'T EVEN APPRECIATE IT
THE HO
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