I've been awake for 20+ hrs. What does that mean? I just realized if BSB were Twilight characters, Brian would be Jake and Howie would be Edward based on the video for "Everybody". That's unsettling.
It's unsettling that you took the time to think about that.
someone owes me an orgasm
When you come back do you think I could print anorexic pictures of Mary-Kate?
We had a race to see who could chug their vodka tonic faster. College doesn't seem to be working for me... I'm getting exponentially dumber
I mean, there was frosting being put on a tunafish sandwich. Pretty sure she knew we were high.
its not that he announces that he can deep throat a banana its the fact he knows he can and it makes me wonder how he found out
its official. the only way for my hair to look good is to blow somebody
All I need is the Internet and a place to drink.
TINY HANDS NOT FOR BUTTHOLES
This is going everywhere on the internet.
Why do you think it's a no-pants party?
Invite says "dress to impress". Her fault for leaving it open to interpretation.
I may have been mad at the Supreme Court/patriarchy and tried to hate fuck myself.
This is seriously fucking awkward. My favorite sex scene just started and my dad's still here. He offered me Cheetos.
I woke up with a shot glass nestled between my boobs like a baby bird.
he is sitting in the driveway by himself laughing at nothing, idk what to do
he was almost the father of your baby, you should let him take you to dinner
Randomize
