Karaoke into a bottle of boones. dear summer in alabama, glad to see you again.
On that note; HAPPY 21: THE SEQUEL from the back of an ambulance!!
he got mad becuase i made more noise when he gave me a back massage then i do when we actually have sex
He ripped off my pantyhose and all I could think was, "oh no those were clinic-appropriate!" That's what I get for ditching a continuing education meeting to go hook up with my scuba instructor.
well they never fully had sex so she's like an eskimo step-sister. I'll make a family tree for you.
Damn you and your marathon penis with its superhuman capabilities
Do you remember doing synchronized hip thrusts to Michael Jackson? Probably one of my favorite parts of the night
thanks for piggy backing me around for the rest of the night when I got too drunk to stand.
Also, I found your gauge.
I found it under my pillow like a gift from the Sex Fairy.
Somehow my drug dealer is stuck in my air-vent and now everything smells like patchouli, weed, deoderant and sweat.
He's still short.... And probably a douchebag. But if we ever run into him downtown I fully encourage you to take him home and have "I hate you douchebag" sex and lick every inch of that disgustingly toned chest.
I woke up with my shoes still on and my pants around my ankles cause I couldn't get them over my shoes
All I remember is while we were making out M.A.A.D City came on so I pushed him off of me so I could rap along.
Being sober is no fun. Karaoke and not wearing pants are not socially acceptable things to do anymore and this depresses me.
Mom got drunk as hell, crashed Dad's wedding and some how left with the best man. This is why you should be glad you aren't my sibling.
Randomize
