as for my dating sex life, no more regret sticks. Only pride wands from now on.
At the wedding. Seated next to the bar. No way this ends well
First funeral I've ever been to where the cops had to come.
is cock-oriented a word? I'd say I'm that lately.
Please don't drown this weekend. It would be a shame to lose a dick like yours.
It's like the bermuda triangle of cat puke
Being at this stripclub only reinforces how single I am. And I was *just* becoming okay with that.
His car is rigged up like the cash cab how am i supposed to not sleep with him
So if I get kidnapped from my office and go missing for a few days does that count against my vacation days and do I still get paid?
Did I mention I hooked up with another country star? I think I need some sort of trophy for each time, yah know? Or like a sash and I win a badge or patch for each person. Like a slutty Girl Scout.
Im like a hedgehog. Easy to corner or get within reach, but tough to get right close to. Like a rooster with its feathers surgically replaced with razors
Thinking of someone think of me while masturbating while I masturbate. & that's how the over thinkers do it ✌️
Molly I still can't believe u puked in that guys hands and still got laid
My neck feel like I've been sucking Goliath's dick.
Also we're getting drunk and sledding down Caroline street. See you soon.
Randomize
