hotel room ftw
Once you see the odd facial expressions and noises a guy makes while he is furiously beating off on top of you, it kind of puts things into perspective.
Our drug dealer just got busted, wear black tmrw
He had a cowboy hat I don't know where from and he was trying to lasso a snowman with a dog leash.
There's never a time that i stay at this apartment that when i wake up in the morning and sit outside to smoke a cigarette that i don't feel ashamed of myself.
Little boy scout stared at me with judgmental looks while I bought 3 bottles of liquor but refused to buy popcorn from him
Its what happens when I drink whiskey in a sweater. It makes me feel mature and ponderful.
she was literally 3 feet away from the garbage can, said she couldn't make it, and then proceeded to vomit on the floor in front of everyone in the restaurant
I feel like we need a drunken piñata bash with your face being the piñata and my hopes and dreams being the stick
I stole a tiki torch last night and just returned it. Things have been better.
You know you're high when, "Why can't I steal the duck?!" Becomes a serious question.
I managed all three standard threesome configurations a female-bodied person can achieve in just under nine years. I want to high-five everyone involved, but I've lost touch with a couple of them
Well I didn't spend $7 on an Uber just to get limp dick
woke up, covered in gummy bears, with a note that said "the gummy army won"
Next time we do shrooms i am finding an open field at sunrise and running through it and nobody is stopping me this time!
Randomize
