yes i saw that this morning. it was my mailbox.
Gfs sis is in town. Its awkwardly obv that we want to fuck each other.
I wish we had a justin bieber to wanna fuck when we were younger... But noooo we just had hanson
Oh, and thanks to you. I'm now stuck in the living room, held hostage, listening to my roommate's "How I discovered I was bi" story. FUCK YOU.
It was a legit night tell he threw a snowball in the bar, thats when I knew it was time to go to the next bar.
you stumbled up the stairs in your heels, pulled 23 one-dollar bills out of your bra and then went and puked in the toilet. didnt say a single thing to me the whole time
Apparently stumbling across interstate bridges is not cause for concern but screaming Wookie noises at cars is. Thanks, cops.
At what point did you realize I was getting blown under the table during our dominos game?
The only thing I remember last night was feeding my dog 4 McDoubles.
Blow job season was short but glorious.
I couldn't even tell you how many times I've said "wrong hole" today
Is that your mom climbing in your window dude
sometimes you just gotta rip off the nipple tape and get it done.
She threw my purse across the room almost broke a lamp and this all started bc she forgot what an air mattress was
Thank you for being so charming, but do you have syphilis?
Randomize
