He is an equal opportunity slut.
my brother wants to know why there are wet balloons in his bed and i think you forgot to throw the condoms away but im too hungover to check if thats what hes talking about
its like she was born with a silver dick in her mouth
How can it be called memorial day weekend....I don't even remember this weekend
Fastest blow job ever. Though it was probably a good thing since we were in front of my house.
My dream had 1 penis and 2 pizzas in it. Priorities?
Can we play rock paper scissor shot again? I want to black out in 15 minutes or less...
You know how I've been hooking up with my ex? Well he told me he loved me and I said I was just there for sex so let's get it done. He looked sad, but he did it anyways. And life was good again.
If your wondering why there is a puddle on the floor is I may have decided to make a kiddie pool in your living room.
Just spread butter on my bathrobe. This has been an ace morning.
I offered the opportunity to grope my boobs for pints. Two girls took me up.
His sister hates me so I took his virginity on her bed
Dude, exfoliate your balls. you'll thank me later.
I just ate part of my sock, this has got to stop.
I've had way too many dicks in my mouth the past two weeks. Ready to go back to school and be a doctor now
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