my mom heard me say 'don't squirt that at me' while me & him were in my room. She then decided to call my aunt and complain to her that she has the sluttiest daughter in town. she refused to believe me when i told her i was talking about gel.
I'm with your mom on this one.
how do i tell her that i need alcohol to fuck her but at the same time i cant get a hard on with alcohol.
I think his glow in the dark Star Wars sheets, at the time, really turned me on.
i should have probably stopped drinking when my beer pong shots were hitting the other team in the face..
yeah thats usually a good indication.
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Those were some damn good pancakes you made last night.
Dude I've been in FL since Monday.
Can you rollerblade?
No, why?
Honestly, I was high and picturing us roller blading together. I wanted to see if I could make my dreams a reality.
I don't understand why you aren't on this trip all I do is smoke weed drink beer and get fingered
Judging by the progress I've made since I woke up (none) I'm thinking this hangover may keep me in bed.
Also I feel I should tell you last night when I came home I fell into my laundry hamper and woke up in a pile of my clothes
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I have banged to "The Emperor's New Groove" way more than could possibly be reasonable.
The main motivators in my life are my sex drive and spite
Did you just correct my spelling of a made up word?
No, I just was using your word in plural form
just woke up with a trucker hat, half a grilled cheese, and popcorn spread everywhere. last night must have been good.
Reminder to self: never have sex on a trampoline. Trampoline burn hurts worse than carpet burn.
I woke up and there was a huge blow up palm tree in my bed...
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