I was able to overlook the Affliction tee until he took it off and there was another tattooed on his body.
Was it at least attractive minus the Gargoyles or skulls... or whatever affliction is putting out these days?
Even a greek god couldn't pull it off. Told him I like Ed Hardy Better. Death Before Dishonor, baby. I'm sure it was a painful blow. hopefully he understands sarcasm.
kill, fuck, marry: alice cullen, hermione granger, ginny weasley.
damn... fuck alice for sure, I feel bad but i think I have to say marry ginny... and kill hermoine! I can't believe I'm answering this right now.
you asked the guy at 7-11 if he remembered when you came in and threw news paper every where... then you did it again
The weird kid in front of me is reading an article titled "why don't i have a girlfriend?" the article then continues to talk about the mathematical equation for obtaining a girlfriend. exhibit a of why he is single
Just got arrested at PF changs. Happy New year, China
I don't think he understands the importance of corndogs. Or condoms for that matter.
Okay. Did anyone see me spend $1600 at the strip club last night? Or is this someone else's receipt in my pocket?
Watching crazy stupid love and drinking alone isn't what I thought it was gonna be
Its TONS better. Expect a drunk dial at 11:54
We didnt even know he was in the house until he came downstairs and asked why he was wet
you're the one asking for my vibrator at 4 in the morning so reconsider your life
He passed out in the car on the way to the party. Seabiscuit tripped before the race even started....Lil bitch....
Did you cry?
I don't think so. I definitely lost my cool though
Yeah i think jesus would lose his cool in that situation
Well I took a spicy wing shit in a field this morning.
And, omg, my eyelids are on fire. I think the internet let me down. :(
The internet was right. Snorting muscle relaxers is awful
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