i just want to meat her and do terribly wonderful things to her vagina...
got them to do a wheelbarrow of shame down the sidewalk after the threesome. I rule
I discovered the grieving process is shock, denial, anger...and then something about drinking until you puke on yourself
I think thats the most anyones ever pregamed for rollerskating
Recent Google searches: "babu kangarooz"... "why 2 tacos bell" and "is dinosaur in real life"
Finished my senior thesis. How am I celebrating you ask? By drinking gas station white zif out of an empty candle holder by myself. I fucking deserve to graduate.
Realistically anyone can come I don't care it's Boston what do I own boston? No. I just don't want people who are gonna give me "why are you doing that" kinda look when I take birthday shots out of my birthday babe shot glass necklace.
Real reason I can't work: it's Tuesday. I get stoned and watch buck Rodgers in Tuesday.
Jesus Christ you're perfect.
Can't tell if its the LSD or if that demon man just stared at my penis. Cleveland is a weird place. All true stories.
Whenever you're sad about your life, just remember that I'm on a first name basis with the late night taco bell drive-thru workers.
I'm going to pretend you don't watch My Little Pony and focus on your large cock. Kay? Don't bring it up again.
Do you know how many guys' fantasies I've been told I'm a part of lately?!
Just 2. But still.
WHAT IF I SAT OUTSIDE AND STARTED SCREAMING THE LYRICS TO O CANADA WOULD THAT FIX IT
PLEASE DON'T
I lost my voice. So I'm going to pretend I'm Ariel with legs today.
I just bought spray paint, a T-shirt, and a box of magnum condoms. The cashier refused to make eye contact! Haha
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