I have a walk of shame I should be getting to. "Hey, by the way, what is your name?" is not a conversation I want to have today
p.s. you have a small clit
YOU ARE THE MOST AWKWARD PERSON ALIVE.
Would we rather be in rehab with the drug addicts or the girls with low self esteem?
My water bill is like twice the normal amount. I need a boyfriend.
Do I even want to know?
They don't exactly give out small business loans to start-up dealers
My bed became a clown car for his family....I'm not ready to get married
I will keep you posted and someday if we daydrink teach you how to do a footjob
I think my boss gives me work off weekends because he doesn't want me showing up hungover anymore..
3-9 out of 10... Depends on the situation. Taco Bell is more of an idea than a restaurant.
How stoned are you?
Well. I mean as excuses for running late go, 'losing track of time in the bathhouse' has gotta be up there on the top ten.
Did this whole conversation happen while you were shitting?
Going on a first date tonight...pros: my boobs look amazing. Cons: my abortion isn't until next week.
I FUCKED WHEELCHAIR DUDE
HE'S INTO WEIRD SHIT
GOOD KIND OF WEIRD SHIT
Apparently I thanked the paramedics over and over again for saving the "happy new year" beads that I was wearing
I think sunday funday got a little out of control. There is cheese slices and BBQ sauce all over the roof and 4 empty bottles of vodka in my room.
Randomize
