chinese tourists just took a picture of me....im pretty sure i heard the bus drive say something about shame.
What's the big deal? you guys fuck
3 times is my limit. I don't even want to know you exist after 3 times
apparently i'm the only person who has heard from her since saturday. she texted me "burt reynolds" at 2am sunday
Dude this breakup has officially hit rock bottom. sitting around watching women's NCAA basketball instead of going out
WHAT? When did I ever refer to one of my past hookups as "the rainforest guy"?
Just used "I used to work as an inflatable toy operator" as a pick up line. Freshman frenzy is great...
We should invent fake asshair for you to wear so you can experience my pain for a day.
Because you stood over the Ice luge screaming STONE COLD and poured beer on everyone
We told you to go get more fire wood and you came running back with a log that was on fire, not drunk at all.
Sorry that I was such a monster last night. It was the drugs, I promise.
i woke up with fake boobs glued on my chest and a large black dildo on my hand. then i had to dress myself and walk home. people saw.
Apparently I blamed my BAC on the Saint Louis Cardinals...how is that not a valid excuse?!
My liver is preforming stress tests.
Cum just came out of my nose. That is all.
i gave head in a cab last night. get on my level.
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