She has some nice fakeys. She is also an exotic entrepreneur.
Some dude at the gas station right now is buying a 30 rack of beast and a can of cat food. Happy Thanksgiving.
she said shes getting her period tomorrow so she wants to have sex now. i didnt object. it would have been heartless.
ofcourse you didnt.
My overnight senior got drunk and hooked up with Kaylee on Sunday. I checked Facebook and he already put down his deposit for next year. This school should pay me a commission.
He was trying to hotbox the banana suit. Of course we traded him for vodka.
tonights mission is daddy issue patrol - we wear old spice and drink gin martinis and see who reacts.
You're doing a terrible job of letting me hook up with girls vicariously through you.
Just used the handle end of a spatula to get the baggie of coke wedged between my passenger seat. Innovation points?
You know, we cock-blocked like 5 people last night. It's like we're her vagina goalies
Before getting out of the car, she said "Thanks for getting me off." I like how polite she is.
STOP TRYING TO FUCK MY DAD
THE HOT GUY IS YOUR DAD?!?!?!?!???
Serious question: is he hot or is my vagina just that barren?
Over 14,000 people at my school and the kid I went home with last night is IN MY FUCKING LECTURE
Your liver needs more exercise - we start training tonight.
I threw up in 4 different Starbucks across the city before 9 am.
Randomize
