No. You are not the Kate in this relationship. I will do what I want.
It was then that he suggested we all nibble ears. A nibble circle.
so, I mean this in the straightest way possible, but don't you ever just feel like you owe Jon Stewart a blowjob...
Gonna bang his former student. Clearly I am winning this breakup.
She sat on the stairs and yelled sex positions at us. I don't remember if we went along with it but judging by the beer and condoms I'm thinking yes.
My dad caught me fucking in the pool last night. He proceeded to tell me I needed to "quiet things down" while this guys dick was still in me. Worst daughter ever.
I don't know what kind of soup they made, but it smells like condoms.
And I feel bad.
Because we're having a serious discussion about our sex life and you're playing minecraft?
Note for the future: whiskey syrup is AMAZING on 3am pancakes.
His voice is like having sex with hot chocolate and then suddenly you're pregnant.
When you get home...find me in the shower. Only safe place at the moment.
I'm pretty sure I regained my virginity last night
Woke up from a black out in a strangers Jeep without phone, shoes, or wallet.
You kept telling everyone that you were as sober as a camel. I have yet to figure out what that means
I'm a shining star this evening. Dancing with a cane in rite aid now. I should be kept under survaillance.
Randomize
