So I just did the walk of shame at dunkin... A lady told me me I was really dressed up and I told her I was going to a luncheon.
Literally like 10 people walking in my building talking about how much they hate draco
i just told my mom tuesday boozeday rhymes so that she can remember not to text or call me on wednesday mornings
youre going to kill that woman one of these days
I just had the ultimate walk of shame. I'm barefoot, in his gym short with vomit in my hair and I walked half a mile through campus. At noon. Thanks for picking up ur phone
how do you wash the taste of whore out of your mouth?
alright she left, finally time to fart up the room
I'm so cold I just used my boobs to keep my face warm
now I know why they wanted me to come. apparently gay guys are stripper magnets
Everyone is hammered wasted already...young, old, the dying, babies...we got them all
He asked me to coffee and I had no choice but to be honest. So naturally I told him that sobriety and monogomy are not two of my strong suits.
We spilled a whole bottle of mouth wash and then proceeded to roll around and make out in it. At least I smell minty fresh.
THERE IS A WINE CUBE IN MY ASS THIS IS NOT GOING AS PLANNED
Did I seriously kick a door down last night... And if so when where and how hard, cause that shit I do not recall.
I may have just poured a honey apple beer onto a dried apple slice to rehydrate it. This is my day.
Sober sex is weird like I didn't expect this when I got clean
Randomize
