To bright to open both eye. Get pizza and put in feeding tube so i can sleep more
Any time before 12:00pm. Can go fuck itself.
he just asked if we wanted to go to an arts and crats club with him tomorrow. every day it becomes harder for me to defend his sexuality
Next time we throw a party together I would appreciate it if you didn't try to get my friends to hook up with friends of yours you know have herpes
You can't call dibs 8 years later.
Now all we have to do is pretend we haven't seen each other naked. Work tomorrow is going to be FUN.
don't pay it forward
I eont pay shit forward. told a stranger to call an abulance and peaced
I'm gonna tie him up and fart in that pathetic excuse for a mustache
Sloppy and selfish. Your 27 and you don't know where my clit is? BYEEE
You were mean to me and you broke my heart and hurt my feelings. You dont get to talk to me about Peter Dinklage
moral of the story: if your going to mix ambien and free skyclub alcohol, take a direct flight or have a layover in a city you wouldn't mind having to return to for a court date.
Would an open wound count as good sex or bad sex?
Hey mike is locked out, sleeping on the common room couch, no idea where his pants are nor does he know where he is. When you get this let him in? And let me know ur alive too!
Gave a guy a blowjob in a convent. Place in hell is now secured...
The dog destroyed my vibrator and swallowed several pieces. Vet gave us a laxative so now I’m checking lots of dog shit and having no orgasms. Plus the cute vet knows I don’t get enough dick, so that’s just great
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