Ugh now I'll have to carry around an overnight bag to all the bars I visit tonight. but hey! maybe I'll meet a dude! And need it!
if you force a hooker to have sex with you and dont pay her would it be rape or theft? something to ponder
We have a vodka soaked ShamWow with your name on it.
bring money and cleavage
I'm in Target and the lady in front of me is buying three Summer's Eve douches, a box of fishsticks and a giant bottle of vodka. The sad thing is I get it.
I apparently started to text you last night. All it said was 'the whole clam'. I hope that means something to you.
ur mom makes the best bacon
WHAT ARE YOU DOING IN MY HOUSE
Just saw identical twins riding scooters. Today is not real who the hell rides a scooter anymore
He held the kayak still so I wouldn't tip over while projectile vomiting. If that ain't true love, I don't know what is...
I'm not gay but if a lesbian wants to eat my box out I'm not gonna say no to someone who knows what they're doing.
Props to you. You took the bet seriously. Making out with her for an hour right after she spewed
I'm two shots in and wandering around Barnes and Noble with $58 in singles.
I think I heard my penis growl. Wanna do lunch?
She called to tell me she just hooked up with my crush...and that he talked about me...not sure if I should be pissed or excited?
isnt it crazy how for years we were living our owns lives, and now only a wall seperates us?
stop. eating. my. shrooms.
Randomize
