I'm going to community service drunk, and I'm still going to be the most normal person there.
I had it in my eyebrows, my bangs, under one eye, and across both cheeks. Congratulations on the successful and elusive warpaint cumshot.
Sorry about bonging beers with your mom but in all fairness you were late...
Not sure if it is a new high or new low, but i left a basket on the porch of the sorority I woke up at. It had a description of the Minnie Mouse I woke up next to, and Plan B.
If we worried less about pouring champagne down stripper crack, we probably wouldn't skip so many meals.
Are we still banned from the library?
why does he always try to puke into shot glasses
This will never work out with him unless I somehow learn how to unhinge my jaw like a python.
Sharing a bathroom with a guy sucks. I always have to set an alarm for the middle of the night just so I can take a dump. Poop text btw
I mean i can't really be mad...either way i was gonna fuck him or hate fuck him, so it's basically a win/win situation.
We were in the middle of fucking and she was just like "Do ya wanna play Harry Potter Scene It?" I musta been really bad lol Anyways, her tattoo healed nicely.
Well for decently drunk, in the woods, last-person-i-should-be-hooking-up-with sex, i thought it was pretty good.
She woke up with her hand super glued to the fridge....how the hell am I Supposed to get her off??
Don't do tequila. The Devil himself spits into shot glasses and we call it tequila. You will do bad things.
I cannot believe I am seriously having a conversation about my best friend's sexual prowess as a dream lesbian.
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