Life lesson: using the oven as a heater= $500 electric bill
she quoted hannah montana in her facebook status. i will never be speaking to her in person again.
The camp director doesn't care if we drink and i'm running the rifle range. Someone is going to get sued.
he just voluntarily told me he was uncircumsized.. and that his favorite color was blue.
i think i made a good impression on his friends wen i survived 55 cup beer pong
It is 9pm, let the ass parade to the bars begin
I've heard awesome things about their margaritas. I also may buy a mustache from party city. Would you do me with a mustache on??! Hahahaha. But, really.
We'll I told him I wanted to keep it PG last night, but then later I asked him to take his pants off. So i'm guessing it was my fault.
Her delivery came. She's ordered a pack of 144 condoms.
Me and tommy were trying to figure out why our printer was jammed, found a condom stuck in the paper slot. #collegeprobs
i wore a power symbol belly button ring just so i can drunkenly tell him that he turns me on. i dont care if it works i think its classy
He walked upstairs in nothing but his boxers and drunkenly asked my brother for a condom....so much for a good first impression.
I mean there are real risks associated with having unprotected sex, but I don’t think I need to worry about a ghost possessing me and having unprotected sex while using my body
Is it sad that I just pissed sitting down so I didn't have to stop eating doritos?
My orgasm happened in two different decades
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