what happened last night??
everyone saw ******'s vagina
and that's just the beginning
just upgraded from jello shots to jello bowls blacking out just got that much more delicious
did you fuck him yet?
hahaha who do you think your talking to.. a nun?
I think theres a high possibility i could be flammable.
I HOPE YOURE READY TO KICK SOME SERIOUS ASS AT TRIVIA NIGHT TOMORROW NIGHT. also, i hope the birth of your niece goes well. BUT MOSTLY TRIVIA NIGHT.
As long as I don't spend the half the week passed out/fucked up on Klonopin and no one dies, this will be the best week I've had all semester.
I walk in and my mom has a Christian workout program playing. It's like, gospel music with an "electronic" beat to go with it. And then they try to save your soul at the end. I hate being home.
Just remembered I said your cat looked delicious last night.
We were so sore from having sex that we decided to fix it with more sex. It's the hair of the dog for sex hangover.
Wait, cocaine is okay but tanning isn't?
I remember the Prince Albert and the three penises in the threesome. But the rest no.
million dollar idea: razor dispensers in bar bathrooms. your welcome, girls who didn't think they were getting laid tonight.
its 2pm and were already starting beer pong...its gonna be a good night
Be there in a sec. We have to stop at Target to buy her underwear first.
There were no words. I got in his car, took my pants off, threw my shirt out the window, and got things started. After we were done I collected my clothes, gave him a kiss, and crept back into my house.
You're like the sex ninja. How doesn't he love you?!
Randomize
