If I go to jail what happens to my debt?
You dont have to pay it.
I'm going to jail.
Dude you just kept yelling "She was my first asain!" right in front of her.
i'm 67% sure he was trying to sing in hawaiian
we made malted milkshakes. malt as in malt liqour.
oh good. ive just found out that i went downstairs at 6 am still blacked out and had a 30 minute conversation with my mom about the different ways to feed our dog
I can't take any time off so I'll be here drinking mimosas til I puke at home with my kitty
Discovered that a nalgene holds an entire bottle of wine. Going mobile. Come find me.
Remember that picture you sent me of you trying to eat the flower arrangement in the bathroom at that restaurant?
Only he would come to a strip club and talk about an internship with Walt Disney during a lap dance.
no, but he did start crying. who the fuck is 30, covered in tattoos and crys about an ex? get your shit together, man.
Also, making a white Russian with butterscotch schnapps instead of vodka is probably the best decision I've made in my entire college career.
Don't worry, I'm sure your thrusting skills are on point.
How do u ask ur friend if shes keeping her kid but in a chill way
another side note: i'm officially selling my underwear on the internet
You did what with his pubic hair?
Randomize
