Taylor Swift is so right about you.
it makes me cry that so many people are going to see you naked someday.
ive decided theres a fine line between accepting money for sex and letting someone buy you late night taco bell and knowing that if he hadnt you wouldnt be in his bed right now
Never eat 3 McGriddles and drink a carton of milk. It's like you're successfully killing self but you're alive.
he found my favorite bra, 3 thongs and a pair of jeans and gave them back. i love move out day.
You're always adorable, but when you're drunk, you're like Chia Pet adorable.
Just made a photo collage of the girls I've hooked up with this summer. I'm patting myself on my back right now
You're doing that 'overestimating how much I care' thing again.
Trevor is horny so he just called me to tell me all the things that he would like to do with his future wife. That's a new one.
The sad part is that if I don't get a random pic of your balls or ass or both every month, I start to worry that we're not friends anymore
Had a turkey baster with clean pee in it in my pants to pass a drug test, and the bottom fell off, so yeah I'm pretty pissed.
In the liquor store when a straight girl and a gay guy were just arguing about who hooked up with the same guy first.
please tell me he didn't just scream 'i am the yiff lord' at the cops
You went home with a guy at 11... than returned to the bar at 1
Dude no i feel my liver disintegrating
Randomize
