She was wearing a shirt that said "Just Do Me", holding a half of a bottle of Vodka, and was screaming at her friends "PUSSY JUST SWALLOW!" before she chugged the rest of the bottle.
Dude, if you don't take her, I will.
So apparently after he gets hammered, falls down a set of stairs and gets a concussion, he can still come home and find a way to play his guitar solo bullshit as loud as possible while i seduce my date...
I woke up in his bed wearing nothing but my underwear and it was on backwards and my entire body is too sore to move...
Im glad someone is finally more of a drunken slut than I am.
I woke up alone at my apt. On the floor with the door wide open, but still. Success.
did you come by the house last night? I found a half eaten corn dog in the mail box.
Apparently I walked up to him, mumbled something incoherently, then started to make out with him. Why does this always happen.
Good point, clearly my love of penis contributed to my torn knee ligament.
I love our relationship. We just get drunk, show each other our tits, demonstrate sexual positions and make pasta. Then you go to bed and I sit around with your mom and cry about how proud of you we are.
He's like... An octopus that touches my vagina in all these diff ways at the right times. It's almost unsettling
Drunk Sam makes promises that Sober Sam can't keep
I'm sitting naked on my bathroom floor and it remind me of us.
That's my way of saying I miss you
i've got three words. i. was. spanked.
we started drinking at 4pm, somehows its 1 am im in bathing suit running from the cops.....any explanation of what happened?
I'm just trying to figure out the reason why humans wear socks....
Dude, she was there with her husband and I was there with my wife. Of course we banged in the bathroom.
Randomize
