I'm pretty sure she sent a group text out saying that I was the one to get with her last night and sorry to everyone who didnt make it.
Honestly it was an honor just to be nominated.
whats wrong with me. i have a coffee mug of wine in the library and i'm doing homework
I just peed on my pajamas. Its gonna be a long night. Don't forget the cookies.
I've officially decided that whoever created hate sex should be on my christmas card list.
Confirm for me that it's be a bad idea to sleep with the 50 year old that's currently hitting on me?
Gave the kid in the wheelchair at the bus stop a beer and proceede to lift him on the bus. porch drinking brings out the best in everyone
i'm just sitting here going through her tagged pics, covering up different parts of her face to try and figure out exactly what it is that makes her so ugly.
I slept in bed with them the night they met. I once peed on the bride. And now I get to give a speech at their wedding. Piece of cake.
Soooo how am i supposed to explain to my mom that i was admitted to the hospital but you kidnapped me within 20 minutes?
I dunno. Last time I went there I had got sexually propositioned by a Belgian prince.
Two word: claymation porn. Think about it.
I don't think I can ever express my appreciation for the things you text me.
We had sex on roll out bean bag chair, and then proceeded to sleep with a blanket with dolphins on it. Happy birthday to me.
I'm almost too old to be on The Real World but feel like I'm too young to be on The Bachelor and I'm just really confused with my place in life.
She tried doing a backflip and ended up doing somersaults down the entire stair case.
He has the fingertips of a God
Randomize
