I'm taking a dump and eating a fortune cookie and it said "Force it to be successful"
I just found a porn show called cleavagefield. no i am not watching.
After that we used the in-room hotel coffee pot to warm up some queso. it was brilliant
She touched you, you're now contaminated for 48 hours. Please watch out for rashes, hives and STDs as she's known to have all three.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
you covered his dog in toothpaste. safe to say hes not gonna call you.
Yo send me the pic of me stickn my dick in the paint bucket last night
you dont understand this isnt a sit at a sports bar eating wings and having a beer night. this is a show up to the bar with a fith of Jack and just let what happens happen kinda night. im expecting to smack a bouncer
Ok let me change into clothes i can run in
Yes. No, I'm basically a superhero but with drugs. I'm robin hood. I steal from the rich (insurance and drug companies) and give to the poor (everyone I know).
I am seriously thinking about wearing a blanket as a cape. So when I pass out tonight the blanket might keep me warm.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just peed in the fountain while its snowing. Fell flat on my ass, literally my butt naked ass in a pile of snow. It's safe to say I'm done with drinking on weekdays
Once again I am on the toilet and refuse to get up
What a great time to reflect on life
My night ended with a French cab driver offering me his sperm free of cost.
ON A SIMILAR NOTE MY DICK SIZE PSYCHIC SKILLS ARE SO GOOD
he keeps various drugs in his kitchen cupboard like groceries. that is my new life goal as an adult.
How do u ask ur friend if shes keeping her kid but in a chill way
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