Doug is wearing your sports bra fyi
we had that weird still in bed morning after conversation. Her dad is the vp of my company.
Lets evaluate? U kissed one boss and lef twith another man. I cock teased the other, hardcore had a tongue jammed down my throat, made out w aa third then left in a cab w alex w them all yelling at me and offering rides. My cheek was also licked and bitten by 2 other men and we almost made out (u and me) because they asked. were hired.
and that's when the elephants and penises started dancing on the ceiling
Just woke up. I have a "Detective Jacob Arnold's" business card in my pocket.
I want Paula Dean to narrate shark week next year
where are you?
Hypothermia
I just scrubbed chocolate off the bathtub... You better have had a damn good birthday
He just told me that when we were doing it I told him I was the captain and he was the boat. Im too embarassed to ask for money for a cab.
Another memory: We offered for a stranger to live in our house under the condition that he took the garbage out because it's a 'blue' job.
We are the best.
Ps. We need to take the garbage out.
You described pouring milk in your strawberry cereal as a glittering magnificent water fall, skimming over the mountain and little strawberry citizens.
I should stop using "Braveheart would do it" as a basis for decision making...
I kinda just want to steal him and keep him forever
i feel like i got punched in the face....
you did....
I have decided that I would still fuck Harrison Ford even though he is old as fuck now. Do you think it would kill him?
Most likely. But I bet he'd do a bang up job of it before he died.
He absolutely would.
Randomize
