We made it safely. Thanks for the call though.
Do you not remember you showing everyone in the bathroom your period stained underwear? I'd say you were pretty happy it came
He tried to slow-dance with me in bed. IN BED.
he has the hands of the vagina gods.
as you might have guessed from my lack of texts, the herpes have calmed down.
Okay! I've got my sketchbook, my purse, my coat, and a knife hidden in my cleavage. I'm ready for to meet my blind date~
Congrats. You are not detrimental enough to my psyche to be discussed during this mornings therapy appointment. Please follow up next week to see if you made the cut.
Sleeping with random people is the same as soul searching, right? Ps that wasn't a team name suggestion.
I don't miss having sex with him. We had our finale fuck last week. He's all yours now.
Yeah I ended up covered in the mud by the end, in a lady bug golf cart that was blasting jazz music with a dead phone
Yeah. I found my shirt from last night while walking back to the bar to get my purse/phone this morning. I'm never going to even ask what actually happened. Be glad you moved 7 states away.
the worst fight me and my gf ever had was over Guy fieri
I can't control his boners. I can only encourage them.
They made me leave the maternity ward, how do I get back in?
Just had a threesome for the second time in my life. I don;t even enjoy threesomes. Too much effort.
HOW DO THESE THINGS KEEP HAPPENING TO YOU?
Randomize
