just got my goo swallowed for the first time. colors seem so much more vivid now, and more rainbows are outside
I walked into the bathroom and the toilet was on fire... I stood there for like a minute trying to decide whether I should put it out or get my camera.
so high i just made my own version of grilled cheese using toast and spray cheese
here comes the puke
being alone eating nachos and drinking from a giant munchen beermug really isnt that sad
This titty bar has wifi. I just did FaceTime stage side
Woke up in the front yard with a chalupa and a firecracker in my back pocket. It's what the founding fathers would want
I realised my life had gone downhill since being unemployed when I was making key lime pie on acid at 3am Tuesday morning.
I swear they were about to hook up!!
I know because I was in the tub taking an imaginary silent bath. They stopped cuz I gagged on my shot.
Stop treating my vagina like a slapchop.
I FOUND THE NORMAL CONDOMS. THIS IS GOD TELLING ME TO CHASE AFTER MY DREAM.
Now some guy that's in my phone as " Alex lip ring hot" is texting me and I don't where life is taking me
Going back to the ever classy sneak out to the fridge and swig liquor from the bottle method. That it is legal for me to drink here makes the fact that I have to do this all the more depressing.
Please tell me that all of the things I remember doing last night didn't really happen. Please.
You know getting black out drunk at a cats birthday party should have been my lowest point drinking wise but some how I feel like last night was some how worse
Nothing but goodness could come from two friends getting naked. Think of all the good advice and other things we could give to each other.
Randomize
