I think she heard me call her a fat skank. But she was to be fair.
she looked like the bat from fern gully.
We are brilliant. We call it the pint walk. Killing a pint of vodka while we walk from cleveland park to dupont. just making mama proud
come pick me up. please. i just puked in my lap. bring pants.
i saw her thong sticking out from across the bar...that was my cue
he urdandictionary'ed 'tease' on his phone and made me read through all the definitions. Am i really that bad?
You slept in the bed with him... with your top off.... and just made out with him....
I lost count of how many people I peed on last night.
My ex came to my place while I was gone. Random things he took: snow shoes, my laundry quarters, a decorative picture, all my condiments, the container that held my rice and a sticker off my wallet. Then left a note saying he watered my plants and fed my cats. What. The. Fuck.
he payed over $300 just to break into the hotel pool and skinny dip alone for 5 minutes and then peace in a cab. and all he had to say for himself was "gotta go swimming, gotta live life"
where do u find these people!?
ill give you the fast version. Hooked up with 17 year old coworker while housestting for my boss
So apparently the bar gave out free condoms, which I now have a pocket full of. Why is drunk me shoving the fact that I'm single and not getting laid in sober me's face...
I'm using the house around the corner that my parents rent out to people as a means of getting sex. I just tell them I'm going for a walk and just invite my next hook up over
Roommate is hosting a 'sorority retreat' at our house. If you need to get laid, stumble on over.
I mean, how am I going to build a relationship on trust if he finds out I roofied him?
I'm going to blow a ton of money on sex toys just so I can tell you to do better than them.
Randomize
