So apparently last night I was running around columbus circle station screaming that Obama was a pussy and that "waterboarding should always be an option" lol
chasing schnapps with beer is a terrible idea. never been drunk at 3PM before. please help please please please please
there may or may not be knives in your bed. I would check
It really ruins the moment when you have to ask to resend the nude pics.
I wish Samuel L. Jackson would narrate our bar crawls
Naked Twister starts at high noon
Either way, we will celebrate half Christmas the only way we can. Completely and irresponsibly wasted.
I'll make some time for you! I don't know how long you need to get off, but I should only need 2-7 minutes, pending what kind of socks I have on.
I say I hate my boss but I find myself jerking off to him more and more with each passing day
The only word that describes how much hair I shaved off of my ass is "considerable".
I'm up in my room and I just saw a naked guy sprint out into the streets from my mom's party downstairs
I think I'm actually too depressed to do drugs, wow.
I don't know, we got really drunk and I slapped her with an ear of corn.
I'm basically the yoda of knowing when someone wants to sleep with you
So nothing to worry about, but i'm probly going to jail soon, just thought i should let you know so you didn't worry. Bye!
Randomize
