we're getting ready to take strippers to breakfast. I love my life.
Hey babe, chan wants you to stop texting her about the size of TJ's dick. please.
she used her cellphone as a light to find my clit under the sheets. worst.lesbian.ever.
His band may suck, but it's not like I'm sleeping with all of them.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just saw a motorized bathtub. I think this college thing is gonna work out.
It's like you are the superhero of getting jizzed on
THEY HAVE VIAGRA FLAVORED GELATO
That super awesome moment when the guy who threw up in your bed last night crawls into your roommate's bed the next morning...Naked...She was in it.
A drawer in my room has nothing but a large feather quill, a wine glass, and a 15" Bowie knife. If you could put my life in a drawer I think that would be it.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm not sure when I will get off this toilet at work but it's not looking promising
Well, I told him that it's not all about him. Then I gave him the best blow-job in the history of blow-jobs.
What's worse having drunken sex with hot married man or breaking the diet one week in?
Had a rough day but my boyfriend made that all better by going down on me while letting me watch Top Gear... I'm buying the engagement ring tomorrow
Tequilla is a sneaky bitch ninja that doesn't kick in until you least expect it. Then BAM! You're peeing in unconventional places.
Kid walks in and orders 24 Mcdoubles and 14 large fries, as he's handing me the money he tells me he lost at rock paper scissors so he had to do the munchie run.
Randomize
