hey call me
can't. in the shower.
... and this is probably why your phone does not work half the time.
I hope I'm pregnant just to spite you.
would you object to me following you around all the time with a video camera and selling it to TV? Your life could make me millions.
he told me not be awkward when his girlfriend comes tomorrow. and then he made out with me
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
my mom just asked me about sexting and if I have ever sent a naked picture to anyone. i fucking hate fox news.
you went around and groping mens pants to see "which was worthy" of you to go home with.
Pretty much knew it was gonna be awful when the extra condoms she had from her ex were entirely too big for my dick
I'm drinking screwdrivers in the pool naked. Call 911 if I don't check in regularly
I'm sitting on the toilet just to avoid my bosses look of disapproval
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
so hungover. I'm actually considering eating the snow off the roof so I don't have to leave my bed
I was chasing moonshine with vodka last night. I'm still not sure how I'm sober right now.
Hillary said in her victory speech "We're gonna come together". I've got a lib-boner.
so third time im replacing the batteries on my vibrator in 2 months #sosingle....on another note though, black beauty is raring to go
i got my period today. mid walk of shame and im wearing a shirt that says stay classy. my life is a joke.
We've been here for 9 days, so of course I am high at my in-laws' house.
Randomize