from now on, im only gona ahve sex with my boyfriend.
so i just googled the prescription for aldara i saw on your desk this morning...
If it makes you feel better, you're better at taking it in than ass than she is...
Well...yeah actually, that does make me feel better
she told me her fantasy was her as a 55 year old cook at a truck stop who smokes a pack a day, and I was the 21 year old illegal immigarnt prep cook.
I'm basically sure i was the reason for glitter on his penis
I'm not sure what happened last night but I woke up next to him and I was wearing nothing but my grandpa's diabetic socks, so I'm letting that fill in the blanks.
we can be functional adults and still think pizza lunchables are the shit
pretend your vagina is a choco taco and the guy is someone who really loves choco tacos. let him enjoy the choco taco.
Today wasn't Sunday Funday, it was more like Sunday god is taking a shit on my life day
It just wouldn't be valentines day if i didn't invite 90% of the guys i've slept with to go to the strip club with me
I may be asexual, but I owe you a solid from yesterday. I am a man of my word.
My phone has started autocorrecting "monogamy" to "monogamish"
Also I just took the BEST ass selfie of my adult life.... it's gonna be a good day haha
Who put my cat in the fridge?
Sunday morning breakfast with the boyfriends family. I just puked in the stall at Cracker Barrell. Classy.
Randomize
