At a stoplight watching a woman push groceries in a stroller while dodging oncoming traffic... Reallllly Detroit?
Letd wlk him
Lrtd walek hime
Lets wlk home,,,ther we go
Someone took a freaking dump on a roll of toilet paper. Next to the toilet. No shit in the toilet. Just on the roll of toilet paper.
he started yelling "this is my pussy" mid thrust
would you consider him our boss?
technically yes
then technically i slept with our boss
Well. Nothing came of that. And to think I manscaped and dusted with gold bond.
Some girl just asked us for directions back to campus. we told her to take the first four lefts. We live on a block. she believed us
U just looked at me and said "wake me up when I'm done eating"
Are you also wondering how we get home after the party bus?
Home?
Just woke up to the best idea ever. Vodka infused BUTTER. Take a second, and think of the possibilities.
She invited me to Bikini Yoga with her friends. Sounds promising.
I would eat the Denny's grand slam special out of my new probation officers b hole
I'm by the tree and the Dora the explorer balloon .. Look for the Dora the explorer balloon
I looked like a tiger in heat. He didn't know if I wanted to fuck him or eat him.
Hey I had a great night last night but I don't want to lie to you I'm only 19 and that wasn't my place its was my cousin he's gone for the summer and I was just house sitting and watching his cat I'm sorry
Randomize