Anthony wouldn't know good sex if it sat on his face
yup. cregs moms pubic hair is still glued to the celing
So I'm looking through your google history on your laptop and you have 'is ketchup even remotely nutritious' and 'alcohol with fewest calories but highest alcohol'. What new fad diet are you on because I feel like we could do this together.
I took his sheets with my when I left seeing that I underestimated my period. Also grabbed a 6-pack out of the fridge because breakfast is the most important meal of the day & I don't do other peoples laundry for free.
I'm so happy I'm only on my second drink. That would have been the best idea ever if I was on my fifth.
Do you want the fat one with an ok face or the skinny ugly one?
It doesn't matter as long as our shame is in tandem.
The amount of knuckle children I've had to the Farrah Abraham sex tape is disturbing and impressive
I just text my one night stand Happy Easter on her way home...now would be a good time for the lord to smite me.
I fucked him twice and then he set me up with his teammate. This kid does wonders for me
I somehow turned head, shoulders, knees, and toes into a sobriety test
Is it tacky to frame a negative pregnancy test?
Also, you think turning 23 is bad, I just ran into the guy that gave my chlymidia
look, im sorry that i yelled at your little brother, threw my car keys at him and smashed a stale cookie with a pool cue, but i swear to god i didn't poop on the floor. it was one of your dogs.
Drinks have officially taken priority over self-respect, and I'm not even all that torn up about it.
I know you do it only because of my toyota, but thank you for fucking me. Seriously.
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