An ad on my facebook says "don't be THAT girl". Its like it knows.
Hey! Thanks for asking, but it didnt go well. He threw up in the car on the way to dinner. Blind dates arent for everyone.
he's totally gay but hes wondering what hes missing out on. Im going to show him.
no pressure.
And for the fourth year in a row Christmas has ended in tears, yelling and me drinking. This is officially our longest running Christmas tradition.
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Apparently as I was doing the walk of shame home my dad's date was on her way to hers. hoes come in all ages these days
If I am going to throw out this whole "born again virgin" thing...i'm not going to do it on someone who is less than 5 inches.
It was relaxing until your penis crawled in my ear.
I apologized to him for my lack of boobs after he felt me up
I had a really bad dream about us drinking this weekend. Remind me to tell you Friday when we start drinking
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Your feet probs hurt bc the cab driver kicked us out a mile from home after you wouldn't stop screaming "prohibition can suck my dick"
Yeah, nothing like barfing into a grocery bag you just put dog shit into.
Still pimpin that dick in the cornfields. Now it's just transferred to the local bar.
I told him he could fuck me in his Notre Dame jersey if they won and he never texted back. What is this world coming to
My dog and I just went outside to pee together.
My favourite part was when you contorted upside down in the tub and said "I don't want to be upside down"
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