i'd date him for the sole reason that he thanks me after giving him head
he thought he was parachuting out of a plane... talk about a bad trip.
I tried to fuck this guy who I'm pretty sure has an erectile dysfunction
it's 2:30 on a sunday and I just won a wine chugging contest. I'm never graduating.
Febreezed myself at a stop light on the way to the IRS office. Judgmental glare from some old lady in the car next to me, thumbs up from her husband.
I'm pretty sure we scarred one of our coworkers. This is the second time he has caught us both fully undressed and banging at work.
Either he has bad timing or he wants to join.
Idk. I was speaking metaphorically. Go for it. As one of your bad decisions, I feel confident in saying you've done worse.
Don't come. It's not even a party it's a total sausage fest. Like 20 drunk dudes in a bedroom. We can still drink by ourselves though it'll be ok
He's getting off drug court. We're doing a super-blunt with 50 dollars worth stuffed inside. He almost cried tears of joy when we told him.
I feel so nauseous and all I want is string cheese. My life never makes sense.
I no longer believe that the road to self esteem is through his penis.
I guess I look like the kind of girl who would buy edible, weed-infused lube.
I'm going to a one year olds birthday party to smoke weed. What has my life become.
You are ridiculously similar to a unicorn, and I want to fuck that unicorn.
Thanks for not letting me get involved with a serial killer. That's true friendship
Randomize
