so explain again why im purple
no
Its about time the women of america have a president they can masturbate to again
Some man just said he would jack off to my hair color.
giving a blow job on a jetski isn't as easy as it sounds.
ok watching intervention on tv. when i hit rock bottom - i wanna be THIS chick.
i crashed through a building. if that counts then yes, i went out with a bang.
If you can't accept "I'm sorry I was mean to you" bjs from 19 year old girls, then who can you
I had to write an apology letter to security guards in the hotel so I didnt get kicked out
she demanded that I make her breakfast too so im in the bathroom cooking bacon with her straightener
And don't try to lose a condom in me tonight. My vagina is not a storage compartment where you can just leave something and try and use it again later in the week.
I got "plug" during family Catch Phrase and struggled to not make a reference to butt plug so I skipped it
Btw there's a hedgehog in my room. Don't get it high
I'm glad you don't care about kids. That's one of your better qualities.
We got cut off at the bar, but it's okay because I tactically rolled behind the bar and grabbed a bottle of whiskey. Meet me in the back booth when you're done puking in the bathroom. This is about to get real slutty.
Sorry. I was preoccupied thinking about penises
Randomize
