Gte hit a new low, I took a poopnap, passed out mid poop on the toilet.
the beds are so narrow its like a jenga threesome
im pretty sure i just saw someone trying to catch a fish with his penis
she's naming her girl london marie
that kid will be born with a tramp stamp
Fuck buddy has no power. Invited her over to use my shower. I love hurricaines.
and when he finished he handed me a baby wipe so i could clean up. i'm ok with the fact that he has kids, but not sure how to react to this.
I told them I was gay and asked them to pass the pie. I ruined pumpkin pie for grandpa.
Climbing through a window thats four feet off the ground isnt the easiest thing when youre high, trust me.
It was worse than that time I did shots of BBQ sauce and pierced my own ear with a thumbtack
Update: That guy is no longer in the restroom, so he's probably not dead.
His status said "sad." of course I liked it. I don't even care that I was the only one. Facebook isn't your god damn journal, we don't care about your problems.
WHEN YOU HAVE SEX WITH A GUY FROM A DIFFERENT COUNTRY YOURE SUPPOSED TO NEVER SEE THEM AGAIN
I don't remember that much at all. But I guess I met this guy from New Zealand and his dog, and then I punched someone in the face.
I am drunk shake weighting right now.
I sharted in court today and had to sit on it for about three and a half hours.
Randomize
